


There Goes the Fucking Horse Hybrid Baby, Mattsun.

by terushimayuujis



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, Pure Crack, Written at 2 in the morning, cursing, what even
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-18 01:54:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 196
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9360395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/terushimayuujis/pseuds/terushimayuujis
Summary: Matsukawa's ass is huge, Hanamaki wants a divorce, and Ronald is a savage.I apologize in advance.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Nikiniki_sendfics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikiniki_sendfics/gifts).



> this was meant to be a non-serious crack fic inspired by my sister  
> I said send me one sentence and a pairing and I'd write her a crack fic so here was the req:  
> "Oh shit, there goes the beans and the fucking horse hybrid baby, Mattsun." for MatsuHana  
> I apologize in advance.

Matsukawa bends over, his ginormous ass bumping against the counter as he picks up the bag of dried beans he bought from Walmart the day prior.

As he stands back up, Hanamaki walks by, their son in his arms. He's got a snout and hooves but they love Ronald. Nobody could take away their Ronald from them.

Anyway, as Matsukawa stands up, he knocks the big ass bag of beans into Ronald and they both go flying until the hit the fridge. Ronald neighs in distress loudly, his hooves flailing about as Hanamaki levels him with A Look™.

"Oh, shit, there goes the beans and the fucking horse hybrid baby, Mattsun," Hanamaki sighs, gesturing at the ruined kitchen floor.

"Don't be fucking rude," Ronald neighs back, "You created me, fuckers."

"Since when the hell could he talk?" Matsukawa asks, picking up a bean and flicking it at Ronald.

"Since forever bitch," Ronald replies.

"I want a divorce," Hanamaki cries. "And adoption forms."

"Well, we can't all get what we fucking want," Ronald says. "For example, you are my parents."

"Not for long, mother fucker," Matsukawa says. He stands up and moves for the door.

"Sayonara, bitches."


End file.
